Bits and Bobs of A&B
I don’t know if everyone knows this, but Carly has two twin tsisters (felt like the need for some alliteration right there). This is hard to follow, so try to keep up. In utero, there was a twin A and a twin B, and so to make things super complicated, my mom decided that our names would start with an "A" and, you guessed it, a "B". That's how we got to be Amy and Brooke. Carly being Carly was a coincidence to make it ABC. And now to answer the question of why we care? Well, long story long, Carly is away in Mexico (lucky) this week, and she asked the only great, established writers who could rival her craftsmanship to take over. Just for the week. So if you hate this, no worries, she'll be back. Additionally, if you were hoping this would be a cohesive newsletter based on the twin telepathy of it all, you would be deeply incorrect. Sorry!
A little bit about us:
Hi divas! For those of you who may not know me, I'm Amy (twin A as Brooke would like me to describe myself). I'm not too sure what to say about myself here- I'm a bartender and manage a restaurant, as all cool 20-something year old women end up doing. I watch a lot of movies and am a bit of a horror movie buff, I listen to a lot of music, and would describe myself as a lover of weird things in most capacities. I've recently gotten quite into sourdough (my starter is referred to as "The Creature", since I know you were gonna ask). I also love to cook, I'm very annoying on letterboxd.com (find me there @amywayyouwant it :P), and there's usually a rotating art project in the mix. Depression can't hit a moving target!
Howdy, I'm Brooke (twin B), Carly's youngest sister by 2 years, 6 months, and 17 days, and younger than Amy by 9 minutes. I am very much into all things cooking and baking, started to get into running last year as I turned 25 and needed a quarter-life crisis activity, and currently I'm searching for a part-time job to make some extra money, so I can do some fun things. That will bring you into my past endeavor as a USPS employee, which only lasted not even two weeks!
"These days.. ya gotta have a sequel!": An In-Depth Review of Scream 7
I saw Scream 7 in theaters. It really was that bad. :/
As previously mentioned, I (Amy) watch a lot of horror movies. Scream (1996) is one of my favorite movies and a franchise I hold near and dear to my heart. In preparation for seeing Scream 7 in theaters, I ran the gauntlet and watched them all back to back. The newest installation featured something I would’ve never expected from a Scream movie- an AI subplot. Boooooo, tomato tomato, I know. But I think this is an interesting, albeit incredulously lazy, piece to work into this franchise. Up until Scream 7, Ghostface has been a primarily analog based character through every single iteration. Killers used landlines until Scream 4 (2015), and even then the landline remains a crucial plot point. Phone calls as a whole even remain crucial to the overall structure, which, I would argue, is considered outdated in 2026. Who the fuck is picking up a random phone call? Also, it's worth mentioning the continued and exclusive use of a knife as the weapon of choice of every Ghostface. In spite of a current social and political climate dominated by violence at the hands of automatic weapons, the knife (™) remains integral to the Scream universe through its newest installment. Given the context, it would appear the franchise’s continued success (probably up until this movie, if we’re being honest) relies on the *lack* of modern intrusion. So… why the half baked AI subplot?
Upon further research, I discovered that there were some ~ interesting~ marketing sponsors for this release. Meta AI sponsored a campaign with Neve Campbell that allowed fans to use AI to functionally create a deep fake and insert themselves into the movie. Ironic would be the kind way to describe this, as the plot of the most recent movie uses “AI” to create a deep fake of a character that’s been gone since the 1st movie. Again, horrifically impetuous writing for a sequel that took 4 years. Beyond the, frankly stupid, marketing campaign, in Scream (2022) the whole issue is that fans go too far and try to insert themselves into the movie. I could give more grace if the writers were using some form of new tech as a vehicle to highlight modern fears of privacy violation and data mining, but they didn’t even have the balls to do that! And then did an ad campaign with Meta!
Even if I could forgive the AI subplot (I can’t)- the plot is bad, it was the worst killer reveal without contest, the gore is by far the most gratuitous of any movie in the franchise, and the fan service is borderline offensive. It suffers the same fate as the newest season of Stranger Things; no decisions have any consequences, and everyone lives, every time. Even if they’ve been stabbed 7 times. Don’t misconstrue my words here, (SPOILER ALERT!!) I do miss Dewey. But he should've died by like, Scream 3 probably.
From its inception, Scream was always intended to be self referential and critical of the genre. Which is why this pandering ass sequel has had such horrible fan reception, and rightfully so. I take great offense at the notion that above all else, the writers think I’m a gore hungry idiot. Those are Saw fans. The worst part, is that the writing here is distinctively tragic given that the director, Kevin Williamson, was the sole writer of the original screenplay. This is ouroboros behavior in a way Kevin Williamson himself wouldn’t be capable of writing, based on the state of Scream 7.
Anyways. Everyone needs to stop using chatGPT and start using their noggins for christ's sake. Here’s my definitive and correct ranking of every movie in the Scream franchise in case there are fans amongst us.
- Scream (1996)
- Scream 2 (1997)
- Scream 4 (2011)* (no cops at pride, just Sidney Prescott and her defibrillator)
- Scream (2015)
- Scream 6 (2022)
- Scream 3 (2001)
- Scream 7 (2026)
* While I do think Scream 4 is unbelievably fun, I find Emma Roberts very hard to stomach. Otherwise, it’d be #2 in all honesty.*
USPS (Undercover Sting Personal Sidequest)
Sometime in January, I decided it would be a great idea to apply to the great USPS. I got the job! No interview process, just simply filling out a standard application form, completing a quiz of matching letters to an address, submitting fingerprints, a background check, and boom, you're in! I applied for a PART-TIME Rural Carrier Assistant (RCA) (major emphasis on part-time there). After meeting with the postmaster of the office I would be working with, it seemed all okay until she said: "I know it says you're part-time, but this is more of a full-time position, now let me show you around!" With that, I decided to go through with the training even though that was a major red flag to me. Now, we will enter the timeline of my 9 days with the USPS, where I felt like I was on Undercover Boss.
Before we get into it, all these days had a start time of 7 am or 8 am, and there was no end time. So every day I never knew when (or if) I was going home.
DAY 1: Orientation, 45 minutes away from home, doing an 8hr day of sitting, listening to someone who has never done this position, explaining her time as a cashier clerk. Also watched videos that were made in the 80's and learned how to fill out a time card made in March of 1992.
DAY 2 & 3: Drivers ed. Sat in a class and watched what not to do. Then sat in a car and learned what to do. Had an instructor who kept throwing out political feelers and kept saying, "I'm so not supposed to ask this, but..." She did say I was really good at driving the mail truck, and I should look into a career in truck driving. To that, I said I was good at pulling up close to things because I go through many Dunkin' Donuts drive-thrus.
Day 4: Shadow day. Was told to watch and not touch the mail as I'm not allowed to touch any mail until I go through academy training. Did just that, sat and watched. The mailman was chill and nice. Nothing bad about this day until the end. The postmaster said, "Okay, so on Sunday you'll come here, at 7am, pick up a truck and drive to Saco (45 min away without the highway), and you'll deliver packages"( I thought I wasn't supposed to touch the mail). Obviously, I said "Okay! See you on Sunday".
Day 5: Day off. I slept the whole day, literally. Was starting to feel like this job was not for me. No end time to my days really made me spiral, haha.
Day 6: Delivery Day Alone. I went and picked up the packages, and was given a scanner that had GPS on it, but it would only get you to a certain area and not the actual address. My day started at 7 am, and the tears started at 10 am. I would blow by houses, and you're not supposed to back up in the trucks. I had to keep doing circles until I said "F this" and started doing 3-point turns and just pulling over and walking to the person's house. I had 30 packages to deliver, and I got done at 2 pm. On my drive home, my head felt funny, and my eyesight felt weird. I went home and searched on Reddit "How do I quit the USPS" and someone on that thread said "it's not worth the fumes of the truck" and thats when it clicked. I was feeling the gas fumes from the truck. My truck also didn't have the flashers working properly, and I couldn't read my speedometer!
Day 7: Day off. The day before day 1 of the Academy with the gut feeling that I should quit.
Day 8: My first day of the Academy. They preached professionalism, and so I was met by an older lady to take me to the classroom who was on the phone with her friend discussing what they were going to do for the weekend, and I was just told, "follow me". This instructor was reliving her glory days as an RCA and just wanted to share what she did. So we talked about her for about an hour, and then she said "You guys are hired part-time, but you'll be putting in 10-13-hour days, and you're supposed to get 2 days off a week, but that probably won't happen all that often," - and that comment sealed the deal for me. I wrote up a text on lunch to send to the postmaster that I sent later that night. And by saying I wrote up a text, I mean Amy wrote it (because of the twin thing, it's okay that it was mostly her words and not mine).
Day 9: Got a response to my text saying "sorry you feel that way" and to come in to fill out proper paperwork. I signed a resignation letter that was made in May of 2019 (the most up-to-date paperwork I've seen) and got handed a 500$ check for my first week working, and was told: "Usually I give things a try before quitting". Which, being told that, solidified that I was not meant to be a USPS employee, at least not at this office and not right now.
Things I learned: I need a job with a start and end time for each shift. The USPS could change its ways and actually run a lot smoother, and people don’t need to be doing 10-13hr days every day, but why would they do that when overworking people seems to be the best option? Also, the USPS trusts newbies with various codes and access to things, which feels like I shouldn't know certain things, but I do now.
I think I picked a great time to depart from this career choice since, as of yesterday, the news broke that the USPS might go broke in a year. So, hate that for them ☹️, but it seems like I dipped out before it got real messy!
Bye!
2 sets of recs for the price of 1!
a song i'm loving:
- Amy's pick(s) - currently listening to the album "Still Crazy After All These Years" by Paul Simon as I'm typing this so. My more offbeat pick would be "Disco" by Sextile, and my more mainstream pick would be "Volcano Girls" by Veruca Salt. Choose your own adventure here.
- Brooke's pick - I do enjoy country pop, and so I'm currently on a Luke Combs listening streak, and everyone should go give his new album, The Way I Am, a listen, which came out today! I'm probably listening to it as you're reading this sentence right now! But also enjoying "Ready, Steady, Go!" by Harry Styles!
a movie i watched:
- Amy's pick - La Piel Que Habito (The Skin I Live In) (2011). Not my most recent watch, but one I think about all the time and will recommend until I take my last breath!!
- Brooke's pick - I just watched the 2005 hit feature film Kicking and Screaming with Amy, and it was very nostalgic. I would suggest everyone go watch it, it had some good humor that completely went over my head as a kid. 8/10.
a book i'm reading:
- Amy's pick - Tender Is The Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica (yucky!!) and Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (one of my favorite books ever)
- Brooke's pick - mostly reading job applications, indeed postings, and Instagram stories
bonus: a TV show we're both watching:
- The Pitt. We both cannot recommend it enough. If you have HBO Max you have to start watching it. The first season took us roughly 36hrs to binge, and we managed to catch up with the release of the current season. We literally count down the minutes until it's on. The actors are actually doctors, we are convinced. 10000/10.
Until Next Time!
PS - let Carly know if you enjoyed this co-write! And if you didn't, just don't say anything at all! <3 A+B
