It's Turkey Lurkey Time
Happy Friday folks! Welcome to a very special Thanksgiving edition of the newsletter. I was originally going to send this out on Thursday, but was simply too bogged down in the ~ family connectedness ~ of it all to fire this off. Enjoy your seasonally appropriate read.
It's a Mindset
You're all familiar with our monthly ins and outs. I bring you ins and outs, with a twist! This Thanksgiving, we are not only talking about what we're grateful for, but also what we are ungrateful for.
Grateful
- Getting into the family drama over mixing bowls of mango margarita at the singular Mexican spot in Biddeford, ME
- Black Friday discounts that are worthwhile
- Individually packaged cups of raisin bran to have at 9pm on Thanksgiving because the pilgrims decided on 2pm dinner
Ungrateful
- Stuffing, generally. But specifically stuffing made with Dave's Protein Bread
- Proliferation of synthetic fibers in fashion
- Heart burn from swigging from a (warm) Lime 'Rita BuzzBall Biggie, split amongst friends in a Market Basket parking lot
Sweater Weather
'Tis the season for a gorgeous knit. 'Tis also the season to rank the best sweaters in film. Best in this context is not just visual but also, would I be willing to drop over $40 for it in a curated thrift store.
A disclaimer for this ranked list is that these are only from movies that I have seen and could think of off the dome. If you have sweater based movie recs for me, please contact me.
Honorable mention goes to the cerulean sweater from The Devil Wears Prada (2006). I wouldn't say it's a great sweater by any means, in fact, the point is that it's not, but it felt wrong to leave off of a sweater based list.
In last place are the initial sweaters from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001). The artisan craftsmanship here is excellent but they are demoted to last place because they are mentioned explicitly to be pretty itchy and boy did wardrobe make that appear a reality.
Next is Quint's sweater from Jaws (1975). Looks excellently functional and in that way, looks like it might retain a certain fishy aroma. It could've been bumped up further on the list if it was perhaps a hunter green or navy.
A woman of my word, hunter green sweaters get bumped on the list. This little number from The Shining (1980) is docked a spot because it looks warm, but not quite warm enough to keep you from freezing to death in a hedge maze.
Rounding out the top three with Tom Glynn Carney's sweater from Dunkirk (2017). Classic, elegant attire to assist your boys on the beaches of Normandy.
Second place goes to the one and only Chris Evans Aran sweater from Knives Out (2019). Just idyllic New England finery. I would pay upwards of 50 USD for a sweater like this in my local vintage store.
Our ranked winner is this Apollo 11 sweater worn by Danny in The Shining (1980). I'll be so honest, I forgot about this wardrobe piece and was only searching for Jack's sweater initially but quickly rediscovered this perfect knit. It takes the top spot because I would pay any amount of money to give this to Nat as a Christmas gift if I saw it IRL.
LGBTQ+P
Who am I if I am not providing the readership of this newsletter with hard-hitting journalism. For this holiday edition, I come to you all with the definitive list of the sexualities of your favorite Thanksgiving desserts. Without further ado:
Pumpkin pie is asexual. She is calm, cool, collected, and not interested in your nonsense. She's classic, stable, reliable. People go through phases and fads come and go, but miss pumpkin pie stays ready.
Apple pie is queer. She is confident in herself and doesn't need a micro label to feel seen. She is a standout role model for the pie community at large.
Apple crisp is nonbinary. Apple crisp has all the classic pie fillings, but they don't feel the need to conform to the conventional pie tin. Dare I say, apple crisp is more interesting than your average pie?
Pecan pie is pansexual. She's a little out there. The way she exists is not something that everyone sees the enjoyment in. However, she is a woman of the people. She is going to be part of your dining room table community whether you want her there or not.
Sweet potato pie is lesbian. She has her audience, and it is not for everyone - nor would she want to be broadly palatable. Sweet potato pie takes what is usually a side dish, and not only makes it a main, but completely turns the concept of the sweet potato as it's traditionally understood on its head to be a dessert. She's for the girls who know what's up.
A themed cookie is bisexual. Over-the-top, loud, and unrestricted by societal expectations. Thanksgiving themed cookies can be whatever they want and they're going to make that very clear to everyone around them.
TTYL
recs for ya weekend
a song i'm loving:
- Evolve - 5 Seconds of Summer
a movie i watched:
- Wicked: For Good. My brothers in arms, this was so bad. I think the stage show is a perfect piece of media, and this adaptation is a heinous misrepresentation of the show. See it for the cultural zeitgeist if you must, but really you should just go see the show when it comes through on its 20th national tour run.
a book i'm reading:
- Slewfoot by Brom
